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| So this is what it’s like to be a graduate student.
I’m all settled into my new house and finding my way around campus, and Waltham. Today I ventured into the city. I met up with a friend of one of my roommates with intentions to catch a famous duck tour. Sadly, they were full of tourists because of the holiday so we have to reschedule our ducking plans for next week. Still – I was able to be in the city, walk in the common, and catch up on people watching. I almost forgot how much fun riding subways could be.
My roommates are all truly wonderful. Saturday night we had a potluck dinner, drank wine and played board games while listening to a Spice Girls CD. What more could I ask for? We rearranged and cleaned on Sunday – we had to make room in the living room for the hammock.
So, things are good. Though, I’m still trying to figure out where I fit in. Balancing life between the Music Department and the Women and Gender Studies Department is going to be interesting. The WGS professors know very little about the Music end of it, and vice versa, and I have very little idea as to what I want to specialize in. And I already have to think about “what’s nextâ€. Maybe I’ll start a poll as to what my devoted readers think I should be doing this time next year: PeaceCorps, Teach For America, become a doula, pursue a PhD…. Oy vay.
I’m going to be back in the Lehigh Valley again as of Friday for my sister’s wedding. It’s hard to believe that it’s already here. I feel as if I’m being a very poor Maid of Honor. I need to come up with a beautiful, witty, meaningful toast. It doesn’t seem real yet. And it will have come and gone before we even realize it. And I will most likely cry. I can’t believe we’re actually growing up.
Since I’m now using this as a means of procrastination from doing homework (I’m totally out of the habit, after not having done any homework for over a year) you’ll probably be reading a lot more from me now that you have in the past. Yay for you – boo for me not getting work done.
I send my best to everyone! | | |
| We’ve already established that I suck at updating. I will apologize anyway.
I keep finding things that I want to write about here, but I don’t think that it’s fair to do so without updating whatever readers there are as to the most recent events.
So, in quasi-chronological order, is what I’ve been up to for the past several months:
- My cousin Deirdre delivered her first child, Ava Lily. They were going to spell it Eva, but wisely thought better of it, as the poor child would constantly be correcting people as to the correct pronunciation of her name. I haven’t had a chance to meet her yet, but am very much looking forward to it. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like to be granddaughter to a diva.
- I played a real, live, paying gig – and played first chair, no less. It was a most interesting production called “Shanti: A Journey of Peace”. It fused East Indian tradition (think sitars and ragas) with Western Elements (a chamber orchestra and drum set). The composer was insane, and not in a good way. But it all managed to come together and ended up being a beautiful experience. It was an honor to be part of a tradition that I don’t usually share.
- I drove in mid-town Manhattan, and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. True, it was midnight on a Sunday, but still…. NYC looks very different when you’re driving through it.
- I got to see the Post Secret exhibit at the Reading Public Museum. I can’t even begin to describe what an extremely personal and astounding experience that was. If you can make it – go.
- I only have 2 more weeks working for the corporate machine, and all of the bullshit that goes along with it.
- I was honored to be asked to be a part of a Danish tradition. The parents of one of my dearest friends from high school were celebrating their 25th anniversary and my friend and her sister decided to go all out for the traditional festivities. After 13 hours of planning, and one sleepless night, dear friends of the couple arrived at their home for a traditional surprise breakfast. In Denmark the happy couple is woken to folk songs played by a brass trio. Apparently, Easton you just get to hear me on my little oboe, sightreading at 8:00 am. It was quite an experience, and we had a good time. Certainly a gig I will never forget.
- I managed to find a place to live in Boston without ever actually having to step foot there. Yay for the internet! The unfortunate part is that I haven’t actually seen the place, or met the 3 other people that I will be sharing the house with. I do know that they are also Brandeis grad students and seem to be rather pleasant people (the 2 men are theatre majors, and the other woman spent the last semester studying abroad in Ireland). I’m hoping for the best, especially considering I won’t make it to Boston to see my room or meet future roommates before the actual move-in day, which is less than 3 weeks from today. So, mark your calendars: I leave the Lehigh Valley on August 25th.
- I managed to plan and execute a bridal shower for my sister – thanks largely to some amazing people I am thrilled to call friends who donated their time and efforts to make dozens of finger sandwiches, cut countless veggies, set up, clean up, and deal with my family, too!
- Oh, for those who haven’t heard: my sister has joined the Lehigh Valley Roller Derby League. She has wisely decided to take some time off of the skates until the wedding is over (don’t want to have to explain to Fred why she has a black eye at the wedding…) She’s thinking that her Roller Derby name is going to be “Black Eye Betty.” Bam-a-lam.
- I’ve been reading quite a bit lately. It seems though that with every book I finish, I find 2 more that I want to read. There are too many to list here, but a few of the highlights are: The Bee Season by Sue Kidd Monk; Sky Burial by Xinran; The Friend Who Got Away by Jennifer Offill; Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins; Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi. And there are so many more.
- I journeyed to Palmyra, New York in a van dubbed “Killa” and saw where the Chruch of Latter Day Saints had its beginnings. I sat at the foot of Hill Cummorah, where Joseph Smith was led by an angel to the golden tablets. I walked through the Sacred Grove, were God spoke directly to the prophet. I stood in the building where the first copy of the Book of Mormon was printed. And I wish I had more insightful things to say about the experience. It’s been 3 weeks since the adventure, and I’m still trying to process the experience. There’s much to say, but I’m not sure how to say it yet.
- In a no less significant spiritual experience, I found my way to a Pagan/Witchcraft store in Bethlehem and met the owner, Mary. She is the cool aunt I never had, and I hope to have at least one more long conversation with her before I leave. (She was so excited that I am moving minutes away from Salem.) It’s an amazing shop and full of wonderful, good energy.
So, in a nutshell that is what has been going on. I missed quite a lot, but at least you got some highlights. Life hasn’t gotten any less crazy, and it’s only going to get worse as I prepare to move. I hope to have a “this is an excuse to get together” cook out or something before I go, but we’ll see if that happens or not. Though I really hope I can see and catch up with as many of my friends as possible before my adventure begins.
I send everyone my very best, and hope to hear from everyone soon!
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| One of my (apparently) avid readers has brought it to my attention that I am overdue for an update. Now I must think of something intelligent and witty to comment on….
For those of you who haven’t heard (I have been fairly lax as far as sending out memos as of late) graduate school won out over Teach for America. In many ways Brandeis was the more intelligent decision – but I sometimes stop and wonder if it was just the easy way out. Mind you, I have no notion that graduate school is going to be easy, but I also have no doubt that Teach For America would be a greater challenge, on many levels. It would also, dare I say, have the potential for greater rewards. Is it selfish of me to spend time in Boston in graduate seminars, studying in coffee shops and meeting friends for ice cream when I could potentially be on the Pine Ridge Reservation teaching English to the children that our government has forgotten about? Part of me thinks so. But I also feel that before I can embark on such great work, I need to take some time to further develop myself. True, I may be copping out – but I think that there is at least some truth in what I feel. I am awestruck by the courage and fortitude I see in Kelly and her adventures to Mozambique, and I aspire to achieve the same greatness one day. I just don’t think I’m ready to do it quite yet.
Even the idea of moving to Boston seems more than a little daunting at the moment. I sent in my official acceptance along with a check for $300 and a deed to my soul – so Brandeis now owns me. After I take out all that I will need in student loans, the banks of America are going to own me, too (as if they didn’t get enough of me for my undergraduate bills). And yet, for as much as I have wanted, nay needed, to get out of the Lehigh Valley – I am sure that August is going to come too quickly.
One of my all time favorite books is The Lost Soul Companion by Susan Brackney. It’s a must-read for all artists and creative spirits. One of the chapters that has always particularly struck me is on the Precipice of Success. Ms. Brackney depicts it as this:
We all find ourselves on that precipice at one time or another – able to fall success, or be sucked into the doom of terrible failure. I imagine the only difference is in which direction you lean. I pray that there is a bed of flowers awaiting me in Boston.
My days have been strange lately, no doubt due to my brain thinking about too many things at once and my stomach reverting to old habits. (We’re not quite back to the saltine and peanut butter regime, but we’ve come rather close.) Life stresses me out, and then my stomach goes nuts – and because my stomach goes nuts, I stress out. It’s a pretty fantastic cycle. I am entirely grateful for my dear friends who go above and beyond to help me out when I am unwell – and god knows I have been rather ill as of late.
In other news:
- Pearl has officially traveled 200,000 miles. We are all very proud.
- I spent yesterday doing wedding-stuff with emmie. I’m pretty sure the snow we got in the Lehigh Valley on Saturday was a direct correlation to my purchase of a pink linen skirt. That’s right, folks – my sister is making me wear pink for her wedding.
- Johnny Roast Beef has died. He got caught in the air filter and drowned. My dad took his loss the hardest. He’s convinced that one of the friends we got for Johnny, a black moor named Sophocles, had something to do with it.
- I’m very excited that springtime is finally here, and just hope it stays.
- In attempts of narrowing down my specialty, I have discovered some fantastic resources on queer theory as it relates to musicology. I’ll be sure to let interested minds know how they are once they arrive from the sellers at half.com and I have had a chance to peruse them.
And with that, dear readers, I am signing off for the night. I’m realizing now that I have much more to say – perhaps this will mean that you’ll get another glimpse into my mind before we see the calendar turn to May. No promises – but I assure you, I will do my best.
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February 28, 2006
Dear Sarah Baer,
Congratulations! It is with pleasure that we invite you to Teach For America's interview day. We are impressed with your application and would like to learn more about you.
We look forward to learning more about you and your interest in joining Teach For America. If you have any questions, please contact an applicant communications associate at admissions@teachforamerica.org or 1-800-832-1230 x225.
Sincerely,
Monique Ayotte
Vice President, Admissions
That was Tuesday.
And today?
Dear Sarah,
The Music Department and the Women's and Gender Studies program would like to offer you admission to the newly defined MA in Music and WGS. This is a one-year interdisciplinary master's degree. We can offer 50% tuition remission and a $5000 fellowship (these funds are from WGS and it's a highly competitive award so you should feel proud). You could apply again to the Ph.D. program in musicology during your MA year. Congratulations! and I look forward to talking with you.
Jessie Ann Owens
Louis, Frances and Jeffrey Sachar Professor of Music
Brandeis University
So, the question is: what should I do?
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In recent weeks I have:
- met my infamous and opera singing Auntie Diana for lunch. She has decided to do everything in her power to jump-start my performing career (wardrobe, headshots, recording session…) regardless to whether or not I actually want it.
- spent a considerable amount of time with Suzanne. Two days is pretty phenomenal considering we went almost a year without any communication.)
- realized that my most recent job is like living in “Office Space” complete with Swing Line Staplers. I have also realized that I’m really just a job nomad, and after a month of corporate office bullshit with a boss who commonly refers to women as “chicks,” I need to move on before I either go insane or cause physical harm.
- met/caught up with /ran into many friends – some of whom I have not seen in quite a while. (we’re talking years…)
- sent and received some beautiful letters. Truly – written words are much better than typed ones.
- completed my Teach For America application. (Apparently, I have a 13% chance of being accepted.)
- been asked to be the Maid of Honor at my sister’s wedding in September. (Hurrah for emmie and Patt!)
- destroyed any sleep pattern I may have once had, and have consequently become a pseudo-insomniac.
- attended “meat bingo” with my sister… and won. Yeah, that’s right – the pro-choice vegetarian won beef cubes from a catholic organization. If only they knew.
- had a late night conversation with my father about where he and Louise want to be buried and whether or not I will bring flowers to his grave. (The answer was “If I’m in town.”)
- done some serious thinking and people watching in public places. This is in part due to not currently having an internet connection at the house and having to brave Internet Cafes and public libraries to check my mail/get caught up with the world.
So, in other words – things have been pretty on par for me. Maybe that’s my problem. My life is too predictable and normal thus far. And, as always, there are always more things to do, projects to complete, reading to catch up on, adventures to plan. I’m entertaining notions of going abroad this summer and/or driving across the country. First I have to see where I am going to be come autumn and if I can afford to go. But, I can’t afford to stay, either.
I’m in a rut. In a lot of ways. And I don’t quite know how to pull myself out of any of it. I hate having my life seemingly on hold until acceptance/rejections letters return. I hate not being able to make plans. I hate being so poor and doing such meaningless and unsatisfying work. But I imagine everything for a reason, no? So, we’ll see. If I have anything dramatic happens, you’ll be sure to hear about it.
Till then.
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